Journal August 10th 2022

JUNE 2022

The Sentence

I’ve sentenced myself to an exile
In a house that looks over the hill
None that I trusted come near me
All that I doubted clings still
Down the meandering pathway
Voices ring loud and ring shrill
All that is left to support me
Cold logic, no feeling… my will.

I wrote this poem in my 30s after I lost my Dad and was two years later about to be sectioned for the first time under the Mental Health Act for being psychotic. A lot had happened to me before then and little did I know then more was to come. I have for the most part been compliant with my mental health team except when emotional and right. Three times I whistle blew. Three times I was unsupported by the community or my employer which makes a nonsense of the spiel over zero tolerance on bullying and abuse from large companies and organisations to this day.

The last time I whistle blew was as a carer in care home for people with learning difficulties over 10 years ago for Voyage Care and haven’t worked since. The key worker admitted they were out of order but because I had a mental health record the assumption was that I was in the wrong and had made the story up. It was the same with Aylesbury Vale District Council and Luton Borough Council as it was for Voyage Care. You couldn’t make up my personal history, you’d not have the imagination.

What is happening today is unprecedented as here in the not very United Kingdom, while our government tries to scare monger the electorate about a summer of strikes, they are deporting immigrants including refugees to Rwanda which has at present a deplorable Human Rights record which included genocide 28 years ago. We, however seem distracted by the strikes from rail workers, bin men, the judiciary, bus drivers, nurses, teachers and several airport workers. You couldn’t make it up if you tried. https://twitter.com/TheTNHoller/status/1539745464010014722?t=gohDxR4sueJdrKYZZiDNmQ&s=09

We as hosts of COP26 are being distracted from a new Bill being debated now in our House of Commons on Human Rights as we are no longer(due to Brexit) part of the European Union. I’ve picked out two links from Twitter for this one. The first is from a speaker in the Labour Party, (the opposition), she’s an MP particularly concerned about women’s rights. https://twitter.com/BestForBritain/status/1539586764209373184?t=77ozMVveFs5bVIyENNtEdw&s=09

As if this was not bad enough, also this week, I came across this video on Twitter which explains to the world rather a lot of things. What is our crime to merit such chaos? What are we being sentenced to and what are we being sentenced for I wonder? Whine Britain, dumb Britain, illogical inhumane, callous, uncaring, unfeeling Britain. I’m not even against people getting rich for who doesn’t want to be rewarded for their hard graft. Vicious Britain, ruthless and nasty Britain. No rationing so the poor can eat and essential workers can get to work Britain. Tar everyone withe the same brush Britain, no car share Britain no community Britain. I’m alright so sod you Britain. This isn’t the Britain I grew up in where anything new in our house was just given away to someone who needed more, a bike, a radio. Pots and pans. C

As hosts of COP26 we should be all about Climate Justice as well as Climate Change, yet we’re building nuclear power stations when we still haven’t made nuclear waste safe from Sellafield, burning waste and manufacturing more, commissioning new oil rigs with energy prices soaring, digging up trees and peat bogs that combat CO2 emissions and not investing in Tidal Power, not reducing plastic waste particularly thin film, not raising taxes on its production for revenue, or fining folk for littering or fly tipping, and our water supply is now the worst in Europe so now we have our first polio case in decades shortly to be followed by cholera at this rate. Meanwhile with Brexit the Good Friday Agreement is being torn to shreds because of doing the logical thing of sorting it out first, it came last! We now have the second worse economy in Europe. Last I heard it was only beaten by Russia because of its sanction due to the Ukraine War!  https://twitter.com/PippaCrerar/status/1537001895365120000?t=ZARRo7ejUbD4tMbauZjBmQ&s=09

As if this was not bad enough, also this week, I came across this video on Twitter which explains to the world rather a lot of things.  https://twitter.com/_leftisbest/status/1537392692082139139?t=Ug4gQTvHpbE4p_BOUORvcg&s=09

What is our crime to merit such chaos? What are we being sentenced to and what are we being sentenced for I wonder? Whine Britain, dumb Britain, illogical inhumane, callous, uncaring, unfeeling Britain is what it seems we are now. Yet still proud despite it all, oh no, we haven’t lost our spunk, out grit, our tally-ho regardless and keep going ethos but United we are not.

Anyway this is all a rather long winded way of saying I’ve had enough so I’m moving from the south of Blighty somewhere North, I’ve been persecuted for being half English, half Irish; for being born to a Northerner, but born down South; for doing the right thing ethically, for being cheerful and for being honest; for not belonging to any union and not being against any and for point blank refusing to be a member of any political group yet standing up for the decent ones in all of them insofar as I can see it. Nor do I belong to any one group of anything except the one I’m most ashamed of… homo sapiens. So there you have it… very much looking forward to being ignored and unknown to the rest of my days now but I will share my views and arty finds and doodles so long as I am able. To the last atom of my being I care, though I rather wish I could retire from that too.